I Did It: The World’s Most Successful False Flag Operation!

These six false flag efforts at undermining the Left have so far led to 1000 additional Republicans in elected office in the last election. I think it’s reasonable to expect a doubling of this number in the next election.

By Sally Anne Jackson l April 3, 2017

I Did It

Dear Chairman M:

Herewith is my report on my stewardship of the $25 million you entrusted to me for false flag operations against the Left.

Since I know you’ll be sharing it with the Board, I’ll explain a few of the principles that have enabled our stunning successes, including having a greater proportion of Republicans in office than at any time since the 1920s.

I know you hired me because of my academic background in persuasion and influence. So, what did I do on behalf of you and the Board to make the Left lose so many elected positions? How did I manage to have them destroy their ability to influence people who aren’t already convinced? And how did I set forces in motion that will continue the process?

1. Since likeability is the number one factor in persuasion, then a gift from heaven is my luck in recruiting spokespeople for the Left who are perceived as screeching, bullying, morally bankrupt, self-obsessed hypocrites. It was worth every penny to get Lena Dunpork, Amy Schemer and Barbara Streisinner to act the way they do – in public no less. These ladies followed the scripts I gave them to the letter. In the interest of fairness, we need to add a bonus to their contracts for a job exceptionally well done. It cost a total of $5 million, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather not say how it was divided. Since it wasn’t divided equally, and one held out for a higher price than others, I don’t want to sow discord among them.

2. Since sensing that the seller likes and respects you is also important for selling a product or an idea, then what could be better for our purposes than having the Left call the people they disagree with “homophobes, Islamophobes, and racists”? But, of course, my deplorables caper was the best. Truly, it was perfect. And, you need to know it came right out of my playbook. This was the most expensive part of the campaign, since it took $11 million to get one of my operatives to manage the insertion of “deplorables” into one of Hillary’s campaign speeches.

3. Since feeling you’re coming at questions from a common background is one of the more important tools in the persuasion kit, then how can I express my gratitude for having my minions succeed in putting front-and-center the Left’s identity politics of how different we are. Actually, even though identity politics is excellent for our plans, and I applaud every effort made in that direction, where my heart truly swells with joy is when I think of the Million Woman March with their fabulous, (really fabulous) pussy hats. If you’d like to be deeply offensive to people, if you want to create a galactic-level massive turn-off, could you do better than having privileged women strutting around with a simulacrum of a vagina on their heads? Seriously, can you think of anything better than that? No? I didn’t think so. It was worth every penny of the $7 million it cost to influence the organizers to use the pussy hats. Getting this done may be the capstone of my entire professional career.

4. Trust is close to essential when it comes to convincing people. Doesn’t it deepen your sense of trust when you hear people on the Left talk about wanting to jail people they disagree with, or you watch images in your living room of the Left shutting down speech they disagree with on campus? How about their demonstrations where they block bridges and people miss flights they had to make to visit a dying mother or can’t get to the hospital where they’re needed to perform life-threatening surgery? Inspires trust, no? Well, NO. The cost for these efforts has so far been a mere $2 million, but surely worth every penny.

5. The perception of fairness is of prime importance for getting people to agree with you. As a person with an academic background in how influence works, I know that people will act against their own self-interest if they perceive a situation is unfair. In view of which, we all need to cherish the Left’s standards of: “If I do it, it’s OK, if you do it, it’s criminal.” Bill Clinton can have oral sex with an intern his daughter’s age in the Oval Office and gets a pass, but Donald Trump uses locker room talk in a private conversation and it’s evidence that he hates women. This part of the campaign hasn’t cost you a penny. Oh wait, that’s not accurate. It cost roughly $10,000, getting a few bloggers to amplify the message that “If I do it, it’ OK, if you do it, it’s criminal.” I love social media. For a tiny investment, the whole idea is now viral.

6. The final, element in influence at least for our purposes, is, does the product match what I care about? Here, Mr. Chairman, we got a freebee. This is how it works: imagine you’re an ordinary taxpayer and you look at what the Left is offering you. It’s a business plan based on dividing the country while raising your taxes to distribute your money to their favored groups in order to buy votes to grease the wheels of the leftist politicians incumbencies. For our purposes, this business model has the splendid attribute of disgusting people who recoil at seeing how much it costs us and how deeply it divides us.

These six false flag efforts at undermining the Left have so far led to 1000 additional Republicans in elected office in the last election. I think it’s reasonable to expect a doubling of this number in the next election.

Respectfully submitted,

Dr. Sally Anne Jackson, Ph.D
Speaker, Author, Satirist, and General Over-all Marvelous Person

Sally Anne Jackson, a writer and public speaker, is a contributor to SFPPR News & Analysis of the online-conservative-journalism center at the Washington-based Selous Foundation for Public Policy Research.